Why would you want to do that??

Well, after over a year of being picked apart, background checked, dozens of doctors appointments, and long months of waiting for any news at all, I have finally received the full details of my Peace Corps assignment. There was much last minute hustle and bustle with my placement possibly shifting to Asia and finally coming back to being in Cameroon teaching English and AIDS education. In 2 short weeks I shut down my life in Los Angeles, kissed my friends and family, loaded down my car and hopped in with Miss. Emily for a 7 day adventure cross-country to home.

It's certainly been a whirlwind. I had grown pretty attached to my life in Los Angeles and realized on the way out how many deep rooted friendships I'd forged in the last two and a half years. The get-togethers the weekend I left were absolutely unforgettable and meant so much to me; the memories of them will warm my heart in Africa on many lonely evenings, I'm sure.

The trip across country was incredible, much like the first one I took with my dad in 2007 when I moved out to LA. In many ways it would not have been the same if I'd flown home. It felt like coming full circle to actually place all those miles between California and Ohio on my odometer. It was the intimate time for thinking over the big changes occurring in my life that I feel is so necessary to appreciating this journey.

Since I've been home things have slowed down to a comfortable ebb and flow. I want to leave in the best head space possible, at peace with myself more than anything and with the world around me. I have felt an immense amount of love in the recent months and especially in recent weeks, and there's nothing better in the world to give me the strength I need for the next 2 years. Antonio Banderas said on Ellen this morning, "There's nothing in this world that cannot be cured with love", and I believe it.

People ask me all the time why on Earth I'd want to do what I'm about to do. I have a 50% chance of having electricity and running water once I receive my placement. I might be 60 miles to the nearest volunteer. The Cameroon Welcome Book guides us to pack for all types of climates since Cameroon is coined "Africa in miniature" for its diversity. The extreme North is in the Sahel, mountain ranges dot the coastline to the West, and, in the South- jungle.

The truth is, I often ask myself why everyone doesn't want to do what I'm about to do. I guess we all just have our own callings, and I often think that it's a good thing, too, since I wouldn't ever be inclined to want to be a dentist, or a pharmacist, or a banker, but I still need all those things myself!

I'm reading a book entitled Emergency Sex about 3 young UN workers all learning the ropes while on the job. As I read I realize it is a bit insane to want to do this kind of work. Yet, at the same time, there's something raw and uncut about it. About being in a place where everyday is about survival. The things they are describing of Somalia, Rwanda, Bosnia in the 90s, on the real front lines is crazier than anything I've ever done and they do watch friends go down in the line of duty; yet still they returned to it.

I imagine there's something about development and aid work; going into the world where democracy may be a newborn baby; something about it that makes you feel more alive than ever. Like you are really at the center of the universe and working to shift the fate of all of humanity in tiny fragments. I guess that's why I want to join the Peace Corps and why I someday may want to be on those same front lines of possible terror and certain shock, disgust, and emotional anguish. In the end, the rewards for the service far exceed the personal costs; or, at least I hope they do.